Well here I am, well into week 2 of the Master Key Experience, and I am really finding that the Universe is clearing the way for my new, elevated and excellent path. It's a constant battle for my mind, (thank you, Seven Laws of the Mind, for your help) and all the tangents it can wildly trail off to, especially in the evenings at home alone. Here's what's happening and, believe me, this vulnerability within itself is a fresh garden for me to sow.
I have been in a long term relationship (9 years) with the man I viewed as my soul mate, the man who literally made me feel dizzy when he confessed falling in love with me; the man who helped me recognize my desire to learn to ride my own motorcycle; the man who enabled me to travel to distant reaches and acquire my strong desire for travel and cultural immersion.
Last Tuesday that same man expressed his desire to end our relationship. Yes, I was shocked though not completely. In the last couple years my own personal journey has brought me to higher and higher potentials of living my true Dharma. I have sensed for some time a divide this has created between us. There were so many deep, sensitive things I missed talking about with him. It was painfully clear we could not and would not go that deep with each other.
I believed strongly that something… SOMETHING within my process would trigger an inner desire that niggled him into trying on this type of purposeful, amazingly powerful living. Perhaps a day will come, but alas it will not be something I get to witness.
Striving toward my very best life definitely promises some "risk". Am I just dipping a toe in to see what could happen? Or am I going all out like the prize is my very LIFE over my mediocre existence? I know this now, because I have done both. I have straddled this precipice of decision for some time, allowing fear to guide my thoughts and decisions.
Two years ago I first encountered the Master Key/Mastermind Alliance and worked all the way through the 5th month… and then halted my momentum. Through the process I felt I was writing a fairy tale, over and over, because I was! Not only was I trying to write my "how" into all the things I would accomplish, hence limiting all the resources I DIDN'T already know existed; I also was writing the path of MY Dharma only with the two of us in mind! I was negotiating my best to avoid the fear of loss and confusing my subconscious as to what I was seeking. Heck I am pretty sure I knew what I was wanting, but I was also refusing to trust.
No matter what path of personal development you find yourself interfacing with, some things have become very plainly clear, at least in my process. You can't fool the greater mind, the universal wisdom, your truest self. The need to negotiate with your highest purpose simply keeps you where you already are, with extra needless work added. Until you have prepared yourself to NEVER look back, NEVER compromise, and NEVER attempt to negotiate a deal with yourself to create your best life using some irregular or worn out parts, there will be little to no change. I sincerely believe that your inner being is going to tell you where you truly stand with these things. At least I can attest that my heart and my solar plexus were telling me all I needed to know, both then and now!
I am grateful for my life with my man of those years. Without them there's so much I may have missed along the way. There are no mistakes.